[Grovenet] HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

[Geri]

Thanks for sharing the laughs, David.

Geri

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "David Morelli" <jo.david at verizon.net>
To: "grovenet" <grovenet at rdrop.com>
Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 10:36 PM
Subject: [Grovenet] HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT


: The following story is making the rounds, and I enjoyed it.  Is it  
: really true?  I don't especially care if it was written as a college  
: exam or for The Comedy Channel, I read it as straight humor.
: 
: David
: 
: 
:  HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
: 
: The following is an actual question given on a University of  
: Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so  
: "profound" that theprofessor shared it with colleagues, via the  
: Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of  
: enjoying it as well:
: 
: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic  
: (absorbs heat)?
: 
: Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law  
: (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some  
: variant.
: 
: One student, however, wrote the following:
: 
: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So  
: we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the  
: rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume  
: that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls  
: are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at  
: the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these  
: religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you  
: will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and  
: since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project  
: that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
: 
: are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase  
: exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in  
: Hell because Boyle'sLaw states that in order for the temperature and  
: pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to   expand  
: proportionately as souls are added.
: 
: This gives two possibilities:
: 
: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls  
: enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase  
: until all Hell breaks loose.
: 
: 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls  
: in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell  
: freezes over.
: 
: So which is it?
: 
: If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman  
: year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"  
: and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then  
: number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic  
: and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that  
: since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any  
: more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven,  
: thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,  
: last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
: 
: THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
: 
: 
: 
: 
: 
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