[Grovenet] A Discovery of Note

Mon Sep 4 11:38:11 PDT 2006

Yes. Even though I believe the Stockholm Syndrome is expressly about
captives and captors, it speaks to a lot of the same behaviors based on our
need for social bonding and interaction. 

Us humans will go to bizarre lengths to maintain a relationship because it
fills some personal need for security that may transcend all else. 

Battered spouses come to mind. 

Under it all there seems to be the simple reality that few human
interactions are actually selfless and egalitarian; we look for some sort of
"payback" from individuals or our community for most of the things we do.
Normally it's benign and mutually beneficial, but not always. Sometimes it
can lead to humorous results. 

An old friend of mine illustrated that with a story about a book.

Andy was a fellow technical writer at Lockheed where we worked together to
document  how to launch nuclear missiles to end the human race. His way of
keeping his emotional balance was to retreat to a small cabin at the end of
the day. He rented the cabin, a small one-room affair in the Santa Cruz
mountains above Los Gatos. It was an old, rustic cabin with only a wood
stove for heat and cooking. It had been, in fact, the "cabin in the woods"
that John Steinbeck had occupied 30 years before. 

Getting on with the story Andy shared, he told me about a fellow who once
received a book from a good friend as a present. Several weeks later his
friend paid him a visit. During the visit his friend asked him how he liked
the book.

"It was perfect!" the fellow exclaimed. "Thank you again for such a
thoughtful gift." 

"You've read it already?" his friend asked. 

"Oh, no." the fellow said. "I haven't read it."

"Then what do you mean?"

The fellow pointed to the floor where the book was tucked under the short
leg of the table where they were sitting, keeping it steady and level. 

His friend was outraged, "What! I gave you a wonderful book. An expensive
book, and you use it to prop up your table!" 

The fellow was disconsolate. "I'm so sorry," he said. "I thought it was a
gift. It was exactly the right thickness to hold the table. I never realized
that it was a homework assignment."  

I can recall countless times that I gave similar gifts, assuming that the
recipient would use it "appropriately" according to my idea of what was
appropriate. I might not complain if they didn't, but I might well feel
disappointed if the gift wasn't used as I planned. 

Such gifts are not gifts at all. That includes doing something with other
people because we want to see them happy, and then being angry and
disappointed if it didn't work out as we had anticipated.  

I have no way of knowing the details of what drives this administration, but
looking at history it seems clear that people in such powerful and visible
places want to leave a legacy of respect and admiration from the people they
"led". Indeed, who among us does not enjoy the respect and approval of our
fellow citizens? In such a position as the President and his staff, that
feeling must be magnified many, many times. 

When the President spoke of the people of Iraq throwing flowers at the feet
of their American liberators, I have no doubt he wanted Americans to throw
flowers at his feet as well. The disappointments we have seen during his
administration must be a very heavy burden for the President and his staff
to bear. 

That doesn't mean that I agree with his choices or his rationalizations. It
seems clear to me that he played fast and loose with the truth to do what he
was certain was the right thing to do. I can't pardon that behavior. As you
said, the President and his staff may well have convinced themselves that
acting out of their own self-interest was in our best interest as well. Most
dictators and would-be dictators share that delusion.

I agree with you about the election too. The only thing that disappointed me
more than the behavior of President Bush was the behavior of the American
people when they returned him to a second term. The President will pass into
history in a few years. The electorate who supported his outlandish behavior
will still be with us. 

That's a sobering thought. 

Ron D'Eau Claire  

-----Original Message-----
From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com] On
Behalf Of Meredith Bliss
Sent: Sunday, September 03, 2006 8:32 PM
To: Forest Grove local interests list
Subject: Re: [Grovenet] A Discovery of Note

Interesting. Sounds rather like the Stockholm Syndrome. But I think you are 
too kind to the administration. I don't believe that they are acting either 
reluctantly just to get along, as in the "Abeline Paradox," or out of a 
primary concern for the national interest. They are acting out of concern
for 
their own self-interest. It may be that they have convinced themselves that 
their own best interests (read the interests of big oil) are the same as the

national interests, but it probably didn't take much effort to convince
them. 
The amazing and disappointing thing is that so many other people are willing

to go along to Abilene with them. 

On Friday 01 September 2006 15:52, Ron D'Eau Claire wrote:
> Thanks Bud! Interesting stuff.
>
> While we're on the general subject of being qualified decision makers 
> and developing processes for formulating plans that work, I'd like to 
> mention "The Abeline Paradox" which also has a nice brief write up on 
> wikipedia:
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_Paradox
>
> It speaks to the tendency of people to engage in "group think" and 
> come to a unanimous and enthusiastic decision, then wonder why they 
> ever did so later. It's actually a very common phenomena among humans. 
> The article
> notes:
>
> "Researchers in this field have proposed various means by which groups 
> can avoid such dysfunctional behaviors. None have proven more 
> effective than the inclusion of people with diverse backgrounds in the 
> decision-making process. Groups so comprised tend to be more effective 
> in avoiding "Abilene Paradox" situations, and tend to be able to make 
> much better decisions overall."
>
> It's exactly why I don't think ANY administration in Washington D.C. 
> can be trusted to make good decisions about international affairs such 
> as Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan... Shoot perhaps two dozen other countries 
> by now. We're too homogenous and of course the folks in D.C. all have 
> one sacred charter: look out for Americans. We might not agree whether 
> they are doing it well. We might think their concept of who is an 
> American only involves a small set of favorite friends. But I have no 
> doubt most politicians in D.C. are looking out for the old "red, white 
> and blue" after their own fashion. And, as long as that is their 
> personal interest and commitment, we're not likely to make good 
> decisions that work for the world at large.
>
> If we want people to actually throw flowers instead of arming roadside 
> bombs, we'd better incorporate some pretty disparate points of view in 
> the decisions about what we will do next.
>
> It's exactly why I'm such a strong supporter of the U.N.
>
> Ron D'Eau Claire
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com] 
> On Behalf Of Meredith Bliss
> Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 8:12 PM
> To: Forest Grove local interests list
> Subject: Re: [Grovenet] A Discovery of Note
>
>
> Not invented here (or there) ... consider the origins of the words 
> "bureaucrat" and "apparatchik." (cf.
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bureaucracy)
>
> It's also worth noting that while Europe was wallowing in the Dark 
> Ages, China had a long established system of education and exams -- 
> those who hoped to land a government job had to pass the exams, 
> otherwise it was life on the farm. You had to study hard and prove 
> your achievement. But as Europe climbed
> out of its morass, it seems to have created a civil replacement for the
> church bureaucracy.
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> GroveNet mailing list
> GroveNet at rdrop.com http://www.rdrop.com/mailman/listinfo/grovenet

-- 
----------------------------------------
Just happy to be here, but speaking 
only for myself!
Meredith Bliss --- www.rdrop.com/~mbliss
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