[Grovenet] A modest improvement

[Ron D'Eau Claire]

Sergeant Singh was the very dedicated, capable and efficient "First
Sergeant" of Company C, 224th Armored Infantry Battalion, 40th Armored
Division who I had the pleasure of serving with many years ago. 

I always wondered what became of him. 

Thanks, Mike!

Ron D'Eau Claire 

-----Original Message-----
From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com] On
Behalf Of Steele, Mike
Sent: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:21 AM
To: Forest Grove local interests list
Subject: [Grovenet] A modest improvement



G-Nuts...would that it were:

--Mike


Washington, DC (AP) -- Congress today announced that the office of President
of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of August 31,
2007.   The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000
yearly salary, and also a record $2.4 trillion in deficit expenditures and
related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years. 

"We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,"
stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted. 

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder
Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of
President as of September 1, 2007.  

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were
vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He
will receive a salary of $320 a month, but with no health coverage or other
benefits. 

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between
the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of
the US Government will be open.  "Working nights will allow me to keep my
day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive
interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be
President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not
be a problem as President Bush was not familiar with the issues either. 

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can
address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at
all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"President Bush has used them successfully for years." 

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day
of employment.  Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for
$140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible
for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. 

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to
help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
position due to limited practical or successful work experience. 

A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive
experience shaking hands, as well as his goofy smile.


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