[Grovenet] Dependent or Independent? (WAS: ADifferentChristmasPoem)

Tue Dec 18 09:32:14 PST 2007

Sure, Steven, because we want to keep the government out of our hair as much
as possible. We (most of us) don't want the government engaging itself in
our activities any more than absolutely necessary! 

If we, as individuals, follow that philosophy we'll keep ourselves out of
life instead of engaging ourselves in life.

Maybe I had more wounds bandaged than David, but I've sure learned a lot and
I'm having a lot of fun. The price is well worth it to me, including a few
scars that I've carried through life, some on my psyche, some on my body. 

Sure, parents use the 'no' approach to quickly inform their children about
what is dangerous, but it can create phobias if it's not replaced by
positive information. "Don't climb up there, you'll fall and kill yourself!"
can become a lifetime fear of any heights or even flying, even when it's
quite reasonably safe. So the smart parent says "no" only for as long as
absolutely necessary. If the child shows a continuing interest in the
activity, "no" is replaced with "yes" as in "Here's how you climb safely..."
it might start with "Be careful..." and a trip to the monkey bars at the
playground and end up with a teenager learning to rock climb safely using
ropes and pitons. 

There's *always* a reason not to do something, even to not run out of a
burning building! That doesn't make the reason valid or desirable to follow.

Today I have two writing projects to complete and deliver: one a sales
letter and the other a document about how to modify a piece of electronic
equipment. In both cases I can think of endless ways *not* to do them for
one reason or another. If I tried to catalog all of them I'd never start
either project much less finish it. 

I also understand there's no single way to do each project right. The
possibilities are almost endless. I could become absorbed in all the reasons
one approach might not be the best: more reasons not to do it that way. 

Instead I'll focus on how to do it in a way that works. A way that answers
the interests, desires and needs of my client as I understand them. It won't
be the only way to do it, but it'll be one way that satisfies the needs and
interests of my client. And I'll get them done on time instead of spending
the day agonizing and debating over all the reasons why my approach might
not be the best. 

There's an old adage, "Do SOMETHING! Even if it's wrong!" I think that's a
valuable way to approach everything. The important thing is to be able to
recognize when something's wrong: when what we chose didn't produce the
results we wanted. Then we can try something else. The danger is in thinking
we must always be right. That means that the stakes are terribly high
whenever we must make a choice and, when we're forced to choose something,
we can never learn from the results. After all, we were, by definition,
"right", no matter how poor our choice turns out to be. 

Ron D'Eau Claire 

-----Original Message-----
From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com] On
Behalf Of Steven
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2007 8:19 AM
To: Forest Grove local interests list
Subject: Re: [Grovenet] Dependent or Independent? (WAS:
ADifferentChristmasPoem)

Check the constituion. The first ten amendments are saying what the
goverment shall Not do.

-----Original Message-----
From: grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com [mailto:grovenet-bounces at rdrop.com]On
Behalf Of David Morelli
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2007 12:31 AM
To: Forest Grove local interests list
Subject: Re: [Grovenet] Dependent or Independent? (WAS: A
DifferentChristmasPoem)

On Dec 17, 2007, at 10:21 PM, Ron D'Eau Claire wrote:

> It's a difference in life philosophy:
>
> You look for ways to say "No."
>
> I look for a way to say "Yes!"
>
> If one is busy and successful doing the right things, there's little 
> chance of doing the wrong thing.
>
> Ron D'Eau Claire

When raising our children, I found it advisable to teach them to not cross
streets without looking for traffic first.  Definitely a "no" thing.  There
were plenty of "yes" items, but children find those out by them selves.
They seem to have a problem identifying the "no" things.  I carry that
history with me, as I look at the actions of adults.  Many of them fail to
see the "no" things that get us into trouble.  Yes, I suppose that it can be
very negative, but the payback is the things I don't get to do.  I don't get
to go to the hospital as often, etc.

David

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