[Grovenet] Dependent or Independent? (WAS: ADifferentChristmasPoem)

[David Morelli]

Ron,

I do believe in encouraging children to reach as far as they can and  
to grasp what they can reach.  And then to try and reach even  
further.  That includes motorcycles, contact sports, solo overseas  
travel, and falling in love.

I also believe that there is a place in our society for elders'  
advice.  I don't think every child needs to make every mistake.  I  
don't believe that suffering really improves our lives.

When you write your instructions, I would expect that you do put in  
"NOTE:  Accidentally placing part A into slot B can result in voiding  
your warranty" when it is appropriate.  When there is a common  
mistake and you know it, pass it on.

The question of allowing people to make mistakes or prohibiting  
foolish action has been at the heart of the Administration's agenda  
for the last 7 years.  Including our foreign and military policy.  I  
am not impressed with  Bush and company's track record of making  
avoidable mistakes.

David

On Dec 18, 2007, at 9:32 AM, Ron D'Eau Claire wrote:

> Sure, Steven, because we want to keep the government out of our  
> hair as much
> as possible. We (most of us) don't want the government engaging  
> itself in
> our activities any more than absolutely necessary!
>
> If we, as individuals, follow that philosophy we'll keep ourselves  
> out of
> life instead of engaging ourselves in life.
>
> Maybe I had more wounds bandaged than David, but I've sure learned  
> a lot and
> I'm having a lot of fun. The price is well worth it to me,  
> including a few
> scars that I've carried through life, some on my psyche, some on my  
> body.
>
> Sure, parents use the 'no' approach to quickly inform their  
> children about
> what is dangerous, but it can create phobias if it's not replaced by
> positive information. "Don't climb up there, you'll fall and kill  
> yourself!"
> can become a lifetime fear of any heights or even flying, even when  
> it's
> quite reasonably safe. So the smart parent says "no" only for as  
> long as
> absolutely necessary. If the child shows a continuing interest in the
> activity, "no" is replaced with "yes" as in "Here's how you climb  
> safely..."
> it might start with "Be careful..." and a trip to the monkey bars  
> at the
> playground and end up with a teenager learning to rock climb safely  
> using
> ropes and pitons.
>
> There's *always* a reason not to do something, even to not run out  
> of a
> burning building! That doesn't make the reason valid or desirable  
> to follow.
>
>
> Today I have two writing projects to complete and deliver: one a sales
> letter and the other a document about how to modify a piece of  
> electronic
> equipment. In both cases I can think of endless ways *not* to do  
> them for
> one reason or another. If I tried to catalog all of them I'd never  
> start
> either project much less finish it.
>
> I also understand there's no single way to do each project right. The
> possibilities are almost endless. I could become absorbed in all  
> the reasons
> one approach might not be the best: more reasons not to do it that  
> way.
>
> Instead I'll focus on how to do it in a way that works. A way that  
> answers
> the interests, desires and needs of my client as I understand them.  
> It won't
> be the only way to do it, but it'll be one way that satisfies the  
> needs and
> interests of my client. And I'll get them done on time instead of  
> spending
> the day agonizing and debating over all the reasons why my approach  
> might
> not be the best.
>
> There's an old adage, "Do SOMETHING! Even if it's wrong!" I think  
> that's a valuable way to approach everything. The important thing  
> is to be able to recognize when something's wrong: when what we  
> chose didn't produce the results we wanted. Then we can try  
> something else. The danger is in thinking we must always be right.  
> That means that the stakes are terribly high whenever we must make  
> a choice and, when we're forced to choose something, we can never  
> learn from the results. After all, we were, by definition, "right",  
> no matter how poor our choice turns out to be.
>
> Ron D'Eau Claire