[Grovenet] For Chuck and All Who Survive By the PC...

[Ron D'Eau Claire]

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, 'Who's
on First?' might have turned out something like this:

        COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

        ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

        COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.

        ABBOTT: Mac?

        COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

        ABBOTT: Your computer?

        COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

        ABBOTT : Mac?

        COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

        ABBOTT: What about Windows?

        COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

        ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

        COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

        ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

        COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

        ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

        COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business.   What do you have?

        ABBOTT: Office.

        COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

        ABBOTT: I just did.

        COSTELLO: You just did what?

        ABBOTT: Recommend something.

        COSTELLO: You recommended something?

        ABBOTT: Yes.

        COSTELLO: For my office?

        ABBOTT: Yes

        COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

        ABBOTT: Office.

        COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

        ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

        COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

        ABBOTT: Word.

        COSTELLO: What word?

        ABBOTT: Word in Office.

        COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

        ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

        COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

        ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

        COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with
some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?

        ABBOTT: Money.

        COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?

        ABBOTT: Money.

        COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

        ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

        COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

        ABBOTT: Money.

        COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

        ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

        COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

        ABBOTT: One copy.

        COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

        ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

        COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

        ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

        (A few days later)

        ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

        COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

        ABBOTT: Click on 'START' ....