[Grovenet] Driving Help Needed

[Allen Warren]

Ron,

Please re-read my previous, lengthy reply, where I wrote we were indeed extremely fortunate no one got hurt or killed last evening, and where I also wrote we immediately took his drivers license.

I well understand the importance of rules and am trying to get this message across to all my children, just as my parents also attempted to do with me, as their parents did with them, on and on going back in history.

Big difference here is there was no malice or outright attempt to break the law.  Does it make it right?  Of course not.  But he did take into account all conditions and thought, even though his thinking was wrong, that it would be safe to turn off the engine while waiting at the light.  And he has now admitted he was wrong, understands why he was wrong, and understands the potential danger he placed himself and others in.

He's young and learning.  What REALLY scares me are the folks as old as you and I who know the law yet knowingly violate the law . . . like the guy (or gal) who's had too much to drink but believes he can make it home because "it's only a couple of miles home.  what could possibly happen?"  Or the driver who, in a hurry, thinks it's okay to drive at the posted speed limit of 45 mph through freezing rain even though they don't have snow tires or studded tires of traction tires, thinking, "it's only a few miles home.  I'm sure I'll make it.  And after all, I'm only going to speed limit".  Or the driver who tries to help out by agreeing to take 2 extra children in their car when they know they only have seatbelts to accomodate 1 extra child, because "it's only a couple of miles.  what could possibly happen?"  Or the business person in rush hour traffic on Highway 26 who's attempting to write an email on their Blackberry while driving in the high-speed lane.
  These people KNOW what they're doing or are about to do is unsafe yet they still do it.
 
Allen Warren


----- Original Message ----
From: Ron D'Eau Claire <ron at cobi.biz>
To: Forest Grove local interests list <grovenet at rdrop.com>
Sent: Monday, January 14, 2008 3:03:28 PM
Subject: Re: [Grovenet] Driving Help Needed

Allen wrote:

"...This particular child of ours doesn't argue or defy us as a rebellious
act.  His arguing is all about expressing his thoughts and opinions while
trying to find the truth. Like many teenagers, he thinks he's much, much
older and wiser than 16.."

------------------------------------

A terrible mistake made by many adults and teens alike is to think it's not
terribly important to follow rules just because someone "said so", but that
is exactly what competent adults in the most important jobs do every day.
It's how a nuclear physicist, a medical doctor or any competent professional
has to learn how to behave. The more life is at risk, the more careful they
have to follow protocol: do things according to established procedures "just
because it's the way it's done!" 

Changes are made, but changes have to be approached very carefully and only
with a thorough analysis.

Very few things in the lives of most of us are more life-threatening than
the simple act of getting behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. That's why
stop signs are "STOP!" signs, even though the driver may be convinced at the
moment it's okay to drift on through, or a 35 MPH sign means "NO MORE THAN
35 MPH AND OFTEN SLOWER!!" even though the driver may be convinced that's
not important right now. They may be right that the signs and rules are
unimportant at that time and in that place, or they may be wrong. When
they're wrong, there's loss, injury, and sometimes death.

It's also important to understand that the rules don't remove the chance for
loss, injury or death. They simply reduce those chances, whether it's
someone driving a car or a surgeon cutting a patient.

The difference between automobile drivers and aircraft pilots, surgeons,
nuclear engineers and the like is that we don't demand drivers show the
emotional ability to follow the rules - the essential driving protocols - at
all times, and we seldom take them off of the road when they don't, even if
they maim someone, although we often think a surgeon should never operate
again if he makes a mistake or an airline pilot should not be allowed to fly
again just because he did it once while drunk.

What your son did was to make an ad-hoc decision to try something different
with a suitable peer review. That's not permitted in any serious endeavor.

Ron D'Eau Claire 




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